Ad Blocker Detected

We've noticed you're currently running ad blocking software. The contents of this site are available for free thanks to the contributions of our sponsors. If you cannot see the entire article, we would appreciate if you would deactivate your ad blocker and refresh the page before continuing to browse.

Thank you.

KEEP SCROLLING FOR MORE GREAT CONTENT

If You Drink Your Coffee Black, We Have Some Bad News For You

AUGUST 24, 2016  —  By Madeline Distasio  
Madeline Distasio

Madeline Distasio

Writer and editor holding it down in Philadelphia. Interests include drawing, exclusively wearing black, having too many books to fit in my tiny apartment, and choosing my dachshund over people.

Of all the things about me that could totally justify someone saying, "You know what, Madeline? You're whacked and you need to leave my home immediately," I never thought that my love of black coffee would be one of them.

But alas, fellow psychopaths, one study is here to drop a bizarre truth bomb on us that has everything to do with what we put in our faces.

Do you like black coffee? What about dark chocolate? Does knocking back a gin and tonic help you navigate the human experience? Cool. Same. The only downside is that bitter taste preferences have been linked to psychopathic tendencies because joy is an illusion for the weak.

According to a study of taste preferences as they relate to antisocial personality traits, those who enjoy bitter foods and drinks are more likely to be about that psychopath life.

iStock

After cross-referencing taste preferences and personality evaluations, researchers concluded that those who enjoy bitter foods would be okay with staring straight into the mouth of Leviathan before work every day.

iStock

Okay, I'm paraphrasing.

These individuals are associated with Machiavellianism, and if you've ever read "The Prince," you know that this is absolutely not a compliment in any context whatsoever.

Unless being compared to the guy who said, "Never attempt to win by force what can be won by deception," seems flattering to you, in which case, drink that black coffee with reckless abandon.

Machiavellian monsters tend to bring sadism, psychopathy, narcissism, and overall darkness to the table. Who says we have nothing to offer, am I right?

iStock

It's worth mentioning that the study was relatively small and self-reported, which means that there's much room for error. That being said, if you're truly a nightmare with legs, you can use this knowledge to trick people into thinking you're emotionally stable. Just add half and half.

iStock

If you really want to start seeing Caliban in the mirror, check out the rest of the study here. As for me, well...

Giphy

Load another article