A Daddy's Letter to his Little Girl About Her Future Husband
JUNE 19, 2013
Dr. Kelly Flanigan is a therapist who has seen women who needs a good man in their life time and time again. He wanted to write a letter to not only his little girl, but to every woman out there. It's a fantastic reminder of what a man needs to be to his wife.
Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was âHow to keep him interested.â
It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.
And I gotÂ angry.
Little One, itÂ isÂ not, has neverÂ been, and neverÂ willÂ be your job to âkeep him interested.â
Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soulâin that unshakeable place that isnât rattled by rejection and loss and egoâthat you areÂ worthyÂ of interest. (If you can remember that everyoneÂ elseÂ is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)
If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is bothÂ capableÂ of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest inÂ you.
Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesnât need to beÂ keptinterested, because he knows youÂ are interesting:
I donât care if he puts his elbows on the dinner tableâas long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then canât stop looking.
I donât care if he canât play a bit of golf with meâas long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.
I donât care if he doesnât follow his walletâas long as he follows hisÂ heartÂ and it always leads him back to you.
I donât care if he is strongâas long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is inÂ yourÂ heart.
I couldnât care less how he votesâas long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence inÂ hisÂ heart.
I donât care about the color of his skinâas long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.
I donât care if he was raised inÂ thisÂ religion orÂ thatÂ religion orÂ noÂ religionâas long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, isÂ deeplyÂ sacred.
In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have theÂ most importantÂ thing in common:
Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to âkeep him interestedâ is to beÂ you.
Your eternally interested guy,Daddy