Before You Got Into The Trend, Your Dad Was The Ultimate Hipster

Listen. I could sit here all day and rattle off a list of things that make your hipster lifestyle decidedly uncool, but what I’m really about to say is going to rock your faux-original world. While you and your mustaches and vinyls and short shorts strut around sipping lavender-infused coffee, you’re all blissfully unaware of the fact that you’ve failed in your attempts to be misunderstood beatniks with a flair for originality.

Why’s that? Well, because your dads did it first. Don’t believe me? Just ask author and copywriter Brad Getty. He’s the mastermind behind a little book by the name of Dads are the Original Hipsters, and he’s here to shut your nonsense down. Eat your hearts out, first movers. Dad was moving long before you.

The book is essentially a compilation of legendary hipster dad photos that are presented alongside Getty’s painfully accurate (and at times NSFW) commentary. Here are a few of the best.

The book is essentially a compilation of legendary hipster dad photos that are presented alongside Getty's painfully accurate (and at times NSFW) commentary. Here are a few of the best.

Brad Getty

“Your parents had a non-traditional wedding before you did, and their marriage might not be legal to prove it.”

"Your parents had a non-traditional wedding before you did, and their marriage might not be legal to prove it."

Brad Getty

“Your dad sucked at his job before you did.”

"Your dad sucked at his job before you did."

Brad Getty

“Your dad was a street artist long before you put up your first shitty wheatpasting.”

"Your dad was a street artist long before you put up your first shitty wheatpasting."

Brad Getty

“Your dad went green before it was cool, and he has the t-shirt to prove it.”

"Your dad went green before it was cool, and he has the t-shirt to prove it."

Brad Getty

“Original at everything since ’76.”

"Original at everything since '76."

Brad Getty

“Your original hipster dad and his crew of dirt balls.”

"Your original hipster dad and his crew of dirt balls."

Brad Getty

“Bill and Hillary Clinton were the original hipsters.”

"Bill and Hillary Clinton were the original hipsters."

Brad Getty

“Your dad had hangovers, and the worst part was realizing that the mistake he made last night was making you.”

"Your dad had hangovers, and the worst part was realizing that the mistake he made last night was making you."

Brad Getty

“Throwback Thursday to when your dad was a DJ before you were, and he played music so obscure that you’ve never even heard of it.”

"Throwback Thursday to when your dad was a DJ before you were, and he played music so obscure that you've never even heard of it."

Brad Getty

“Hipsters, your shit-whip will never compare to your dad’s badass ride.”

"Hipsters, your shit-whip will never compare to your dad's badass ride."

Brad Getty

“Fall/winter 2014 look book.”

"Fall/winter 2014 look book."

Brad Getty

“Your dad was a struggling indie artist before you were.”

"Your dad was a struggling indie artist before you were."

Brad Getty

“Selfie game king since ’76.”

"Selfie game king since '76."

Brad Getty

(via Tumblr)

I’m sorry that you had to face the reality of your fraudulent existence this way, hipsters, but it had to be done. Take this opportunity to re-evaluate your position in the world, get a handle on those convoluted political opinions that you don’t actually understand, and start drinking regular espresso like a normal person. Because that’s exactly what you are — normal.

To further confront the mortality of your image, be sure to check out more of Brad Getty’s work on his website and Tumblr.

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