Ad Blocker Detected

We've noticed you're currently running ad blocking software. The contents of this site are available for free thanks to the contributions of our sponsors. If you cannot see the entire article, we would appreciate if you would deactivate your ad blocker and refresh the page before continuing to browse.

Thank you.

KEEP SCROLLING FOR MORE GREAT CONTENT

As It Turns Out, The Maddest Thing About March Isn't Your Basketball Bracket

MARCH 19, 2017  —  By Madeline Distasio  
Madeline Distasio

Madeline Distasio

Writer and editor holding it down in Philadelphia. Interests include drawing, exclusively wearing black, having too many books to fit in my tiny apartment, and choosing my dachshund over people.

If there's one thing that makes perfectly normal people turn into TV-obsessed monsters, it's March Madness.

But if you're a basketball fan yourself who just can't focus on anything else or you can't seem to pull your husband away from the TV, this little tidbit of insanity will make you feel better about your situation.

So what am I talking about? Vasectomies, friends. Because life is weird and nothing makes sense, doctors notice an uptick in vasectomies every year when March Madness rolls around. The reason why is pure "why are humans like this" gold.

This increase in male snippage is so intense every year that some physicians offer vasectomy specials. What a time to be alive.

The best urologists among us even offer pizza deals...PIZZA DEALS...to pair with a good ol' clip to the vas deferens. The inspiration behind this trend is not, as you might imagine, the unbridled lovemaking that comes with working your way up the bracket toward office victory.

Read More: No Woman Likes Her Time Of The Month, But This Invention Takes It Way Too Far

The motivating factor here? Time off from work to watch the madness unfold.

Because two or three days of mandatory downtime follow a vasectomy, industrious gentlemen combine the joy of time off work with the relief of not getting anyone pregnant. This will obviously ensure that their teams win because their presence in front of the TV will absolutely change the outcomes of important games. Everyone knows that. These are glorious times.

Honestly, I feel pretty good about this whole thing. I have a lot of confidence in people to make great life choices.

Giphy

(via courier-journal)

After you collect yourself, be sure to share this with the basketball fanatics in your life or with anyone with a functioning human brain. They're bound to appreciate it.

Load another article