These 32 Greeting Cards Express Exactly What You’re Feeling. You Can Thank Me Later.

When I think of hell, I just think of busy holidays when you have to look endlessly for the “perfect” greeting card. No one likes buying cards. No one. If anyone tells you they do, they’re lying. These cards – on the other hand – strike that perfect balance of sassy and sarcastic, which instantly makes them the 32 most perfect greeting cards ever created.

1.) Thanks for the statistics lesson, I guess.

1.) Thanks for the statistics lesson, I guess.

2.) Anything is possible with science.

2.) Anything is possible with science.

3.) An honest appreciation.

3.) An honest appreciation.

4.) I just hope they don’t rat you out.

4.) I just hope they don't rat you out.

5.) Not approved by the birth control industry.

5.) Not approved by the birth control industry.

6.) Proper nutrition is important.

6.) Proper nutrition is important.

7.) Who doesn’t?

7.) Who doesn't?

8.) That’s perfectly alright as long as it’s consensual.

8.) That's perfectly alright as long as it's consensual.

9.) Disturbing for all the wrong reasons.

9.) Disturbing for all the wrong reasons.

10.) Words to live by.

10.) Words to live by.

11.) Yes, but do I need to be reminded of it?

11.) Yes, but do I need to be reminded of it?

12.) That’s very zen.

12.) That's very zen.

13.) Freudian slip perhaps?

13.) Freudian slip perhaps?

14.) #Disappointed.

14.) #Disappointed.

15.) The best gifts are the ones you make yourself.

15.) The best gifts are the ones you make yourself.

16.) For the crazy cat lady in your life.

16.) For the crazy cat lady in your life.

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17.) Oh Santa.

17.) Oh Santa.

18.) Get out of my brain.

18.) Get out of my brain.

19.) Always gotta look on the bright side of things.

19.) Always gotta look on the bright side of things.

20.) You would be correct.

20.) You would be correct.

21.) Well that makes one of us.

21.) Well that makes one of us.

22.) Sneaky sneaky.

22.) Sneaky sneaky.

23.) Umm…

23.) Umm...

24.) Hurrah for genetic engineering.

24.) Hurrah for genetic engineering.

25.) All purpose holiday card.

25.) All purpose holiday card.

26.) Not cool dude.

26.) Not cool dude.

27.) Honesty is important.

27.) Honesty is important.

28.) What do you do when your cat talks back?

28.) What do you do when your cat talks back?

29.) Me too.

29.) Me too.

30.) No I don’t and I’d like to keep it that way.

30.) No I don't and I'd like to keep it that way.

31.) Sympathy at its finest.

31.) Sympathy at its finest.

32.) Clever.

32.) Clever.

(H/T: Distractify) I’ve got to find out where I can buy that Tom Hanks one. So many possibilities. Make sure to share this list by clicking below.

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