Internet Confirms That Kids Say The Most Hilariously Screwed-Up Things

SEPTEMBER 7, 2016  —  By Madeline Distasio  
Madeline Distasio

Madeline Distasio

Writer and editor holding it down in Philadelphia. Interests include drawing, exclusively wearing black, having too many books to fit in my tiny apartment, and choosing my dachshund over people.

Ah, the internet. This vast digital landscape holds certain truths to be self-evident.

Like the fact that 90 percent of humanity at large does, in fact, suck. And that high school students will continue citing Wikipedia as a legitimate source of information from now until the end of days. Oh, and that the verbal garbage that comes out of kids' faces is pure social media gold.

Because oversharing is a thing, I bring to you a collection of lovely exchanges between parents and the little ones who trouble them so deeply.

1. This kid really hates her dad.

This kid really hates her dad.

iStock

(via @XplodingUnicorn)

2. Same dad, different child. He's raising some sassy ones.

Same dad, different child. He's raising some sassy ones.

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(via @XplodingUnicorn)

3. Buckle up, kiddo.

Buckle up, kiddo.

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(via @kellyoxford)

4. Close except not at all.

Close except not at all.

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(via @lisa_nonos)

5. Well played.

Well played.

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(via @Dadmissions)

6. Stepping into total oblivion at a young age. I love it.

Stepping into total oblivion at a young age. I love it.

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(via @FoodieAndFamily)

7. So there!

So there!

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(via @XplodingUnicorn)

8. Hit her right where it hurts, kid.

Hit her right where it hurts, kid.

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(via @MichelleBobeli)

9. Who needs phones or money, am I right?

Who needs phones or money, am I right?

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(via @CrazyExhaustion)

10. This is alarming and I live for it.

This is alarming and I live for it.

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(via @jessokfine)

11. That guy got his groceries with a side of existential dread.

That guy got his groceries with a side of existential dread.

iStock

(via @House_Feminist)

12. It's science.

It's science.

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(via @FoodieAndFamily)

13. Listen to your mother, little one.

Listen to your mother, little one.

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(via @cray_at_home_ma)

14. And this is why we don't give phones to children.

And this is why we don't give phones to children.

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(via @Izabellllaa)

15. Someone's learning how words work and doing a comically terrible job!

Someone's learning how words work and doing a comically terrible job!

iStock

(via @NancySauriol)

And there you have it. Definitive proof that children are, in fact, the strangest little creatures on Earth.

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